How It Works

To contract the services of Asshole Consulting is very simple.

1.  Send an e-mail explaining your problem and question clearly and succinctly with an enough information so that it may be resolved.  BE SUCCINCT.  You WILL be charged if you blather on about how it all started when you were three years old and give me your life story.

2.  I will “diagnose” the problem and provide you an estimate via e-mail as to what it costs to answer your question or solve your problem.

**CHECK YOUR SPAM FOLDER BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY WITH ‘ASSHOLE’ IN THE RETURN E-MAIL ADDRESS IT MIGHT END UP IN YOUR SPAM FOLDER. SO…umm…you know… FUCKING CHECK IT!***

3.  If you agree with the price, simply make a donation to Asshole Consulting’s Paypal account for the quote amount.

4.  Upon confirming the funds are received, your question will be answered. The majority of clients opt for video responses (which can all be found on my YouTube Channel), but you can also receive an e-mail response or (for $200 an hour) a Skype consultation.

5.  Depending on the complexity of the problem, there may be some follow up questions.

I officially bill out at $100 per hour, but the truth is most problems are solved within a 15 minute e-mail or so, so most final bills come in around $25 for an e-mail and $35 for a video.